Approved by the Great BunnyEaster, minding my own business at the local gas-n-gulp, notice an ornate package containing a large chocolate egg. This one appears to have a lot of text on it, unlike the normal Easter egg packaging where the only wording is usually “EGG” and “Use by Easter 2058”. Chance leads me to actually start reading the box, and I am suitably amazed by the copy writers prose - I don’t know what these guys were on when they wrote it, but I want some!

Great!

Exactly how did he put the seeds in the hollow eggs?

Animals who live underground? What, like wombats and moles?

Cadbury is the bunny word for chocolate??

Purple Wishing Mini Egg???

...please make my wish come true... I wish Uncle Bob would stop making me blow his magic flute.

The Tale of the Great Bunny

Many years ago the world was full of amazing trees and plants made of chocolate! But one day the chocolate began to disappear. The Great Bunny loved chocolate more than anybody so he went to children all over the world and said:

Go searching in the woods and fields and what you’re searching for
are chocolate seeds, so we can make our chocolate bloom once more!

His plan was to take the seeds to the centre of the earth and plant them there. The Great Bunny needed a way to keep the seeds safe for the journey, so he asked the hens to lay hollow chocolate eggs. He put the chocolate seeds inside the eggs and crawled through tunnels way down to the centre of the earth.

When he got there, he broke open the eggs, planted the seeds and the chocolate began to grow. It grew so much that all of the animals who live underground built chocolate houses and cities, and even a giant chocolate palace for the Great Bunny. He proclaimed:

Let’s call this wondrous chocolate world “The Land of Cadbury”,
for “Cadbury” is the bunny word for chocolate, don’t you see.

The Great Bunny wanted to thank the children who had helped him create this special world, so he asked the animals to make all kinds of chocolate treats.

Each year, very early on Easter morning, the Great Bunny brings these chocolate treats to children around the world just like you.

The most special treat is a great big chocolate statue that looks just like the Great Bunny. He is holding a Purple Wishing Mini Egg. To make a wish, say the following rhyme before you eat the egg:

“O Purple Wishing Mini Egg, while I am eating you,
I’m thinking of a special wish, please make my wish come true!”

The Great Bunny also leaves a magic Hollow Chocolate Egg with Chocolate seeds inside. Hide one of these seeds in a special place and an animal from the Land of Cadbury will find it, carry it to the centre of the earth, and plant it there so chocolate will continue to grow.

So now you know Great Bunny’s tale and all the friends he keeps,
and where his chocolate comes from, and why he leaves you treats.

The Magic Seeds

This egg has magic seeds inside,
So eat them, but save one to hide!
Just hide it and you’ve done your part,
An animal will find it, after dark.

He’ll take it to the Land of Cadbury below,
In the centre of the earth, where chocolate grows,
And plant it there, so there’ll always be
More chocolate growing for you and me!

- The Great Bunny

This conjures up a particularly appealing image of the poor parents of kiddies who faithfully hide the candy under their pillows, in one of daddy’s shoes, in the VCR, or up their noses. Hopefully it won’t be found ‘til next summer when it’ll be really nice and sticky.

Unfortunately, the only animals really likely to find it will be rats, ants or cockroaches.

Truth is Stranger Department

Rather than be embarrassed by what appears to be a drug inspired vision of the Great Bunny, the good folks of the Cadbury marketing department are so proud of him they have immortalised him on their web site. Check it out, and see how many times you can cope with their MIDI rendition of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies.


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